And So It Goes
by Suzette's Blue
Summary: Gift fic for Kit-Kat-AnGel. Matt and his Mum pre-Wammy's. In which Mail is too small to hold all of his mother's instrumants properly. Rated for swearing. Oneshot.


**A/N:**Okay, so this lovely little ficlette here is dedicated to **Kit-Kat-AnGel** because it was her birthday not too long ago and she is awesome.

I do not own Death Note or any of Billy Joel's songs or anything like that because if I didn't I wouldn't be worrying about paying for uni in a couple of years time.

Hope you enjoy and I hope it meets your expectations **Angel**

Please note that Suzanna is my own creation because Matt needs a badass Mum (even though Angel came up with her name…) so please do not use her without my consent. Thankies ^^_

And So It Goes

A little oneshot of Matt and his mum pre-Wammy's in which Mail is too small to play all of his mother's instruments properly. Rated for Suzanna's potty mouth.

Suzanna Jeevas smiled down fondly at her son as he struggled to hold her too big acoustic guitar properly in his small hands.

"Mail," she said softly. The boy looked up at her with huge eyes full of love and trust, "my guitar's too big for you." the boy looked down, crestfallen, "So how about tomorrow we go out and get one your size?"

"Really?"

Suzanna laughed at the hopeful look in her son's eyes, "Yes, really."

"YAY!" he yelled, putting down her guitar carefully before pouncing on her with a hug.

"'Til then, how about I teach you something on the piano?" Suzanna asked, cradling the child softly.

Mail nodded eagerly and his mother laughed again, sitting down at her baby grand piano with him on her lap.

Mail looked up at his mother in adoration. No one could _ever_ match up to _his_ mum. _His_ mum taught him how to sing and play instruments and generally make music. She also taught him how to play his other love, video games.

He loved it when she taught him new songs, or how to play a new game. Because when she was teaching him something, more often then not, she would sit him in her lap and show him how to do it first, her soft, musical voice whispering instructions or singing quietly in his ear.

Suzanna smiled gently down at him before instructing him to sit properly and face the piano.

Reaching around him, she picked out a few chords, a simple enough melody that sounded unbearably sad to the young Mail.

_~"In every heart, there is a room, a sanctuary safe and strong."~_ She began softly, her warm voice tinged with sadness and …_regret_?_ "~To heal the wounds, from lovers past, until a new one comes along. I spoke to you, in cautious tones; you answered me with no pretence. And still I feel, I said too much, m silence is my self-defence. And every time, I've held a rose it seems I've only felt the thorns. And so it goes, and so it goes. And so will you soon I suppose. But if my silence, made you leave, then that would be my worst regret. So I will share, this room with you, and you can have this heart to break."~_

Mail could feel his mother with every breath she took and every move she made. Whether it was to press another key or to press down on the pedals at her feet.

_~"And this is why, my eyes are closed. It's just as well, for all I've seen. And so it goes, and so it goes. And you're the only one who knows. So I would choose, to be with you. That's if the choice were mine to make. But you can make decisions too, and you can have this heart to break."~_

Mail chanced a glance up at his mother's face. Her eyes were closed but he could see tears beginning to well at the bottom of them. Mail looked back at the piano. Suzanna rarely ever cried. So why did she want him to learn _this_ song?

_~"And so it goes, and so it goes. And you're the only one who knows."~ _She ended without flourish, just a small smile at the corner of her lips, and a tight hug for Mail.

"Mail," she whispered into his hair, "this song holds a lot of bad memories for me…but it's Billy Joel. So please help me make some good memories with it so I don't start crying whenever I hear it?"

Mail twisted around in her arms to give her a hug of his own. He understood the Billy Joel part, even if he didn't know what his mum was trying to hide from. "Of course, Mum." he said, wiping away her tears with his sleeve.

She laughed at him before getting him to turn around again, "Okay, first chord goes like this…"

The next day, as promised, the two went shopping for a guitar better suited to little Mail.

"How about this one?" Suzanna asked, pulling out a cool black acoustic with red flames painted up the body.

"Mum, why don't you like electric guitars?" Mail asked instead.

"Why? Do you want one of those?"

"Not really, I just wanted to know why we don't have any at home"

Suzanna smiled and crouched down to be at her son's level, "Because I like the sound of acoustics better. If you want to learn on an electric I'm not going to stop you though, its good that you learn both actually, lets get one of those for you too…and one for me."

Mail grinned, "Cool! I like that one too by the way."

Suzanna laughed, scooping up Mail in one arm while she carried his new acoustic in the other as they headed towards the electric guitars, "Okay kiddo, go wild, and pick a nice one for me too okay?"

"Sure Mum!"

While Mail was looking around the guitar section, Suzanna wandered around the rest of the store, stopping at the display of string instruments.

Her eyes traced the contours of a gorgeous, handcrafted cello claiming to be a Testore. Not as good as her precious _Becker_ Stradivari sitting proudly in its case back home but impressive none the less.

"You play?" an annoying store assistant asked chirpily.

Suzanna nodded anyway, "Yeah, I've actually been meaning to get myself a new cello, I don't want to bring out my old one with my son running around, he'll get that when he's big enough to play it and old enough to appreciate it."

"Well this one is-"

Suzanna smiled faintly as she cut the annoying assistant off, "Thankyou, but I know my way around instruments and I know what I'm looking for better than I could explain it to you."

"Oh..." the assistant looked put out that she couldn't be of more help to a customer (read: annoy someone enough that they would leave and she could get beck to reading her magazines under the counter)

Suzanna turned back to the display, looking for a cello good enough that she wouldn't cringe every time she went to play it yet inexpensive enough for her to have out with Mail in the house. Not that he would ever damage any of her instruments, but you could never be too careful.

"MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!"

The shout made Suzanna whip around and rush off to where she had left Mail, ignoring the shocked look from the store assistant or the shout that she wasn't allowed to run in the store.

Upon reaching the guitar section, she saw that her little Mail had been cornered by three rowdy teenagers who thought that they were top shit because they could play a few chords.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing to my son?" she growled out furiously as she pushed her way through them to scoop Mail up into the safety of her arms. "Well?" she asked when they made no move to answer.

"N-nothing ma'am" one of them stuttered, "We were just asking him why he was looking at guitars he's too small to hold properly let alone play."

Suzanna raised an eyebrow at the kid before turning to Mail, "What do you think Mail? Is this punk telling the truth?"

Mail smiled softly up at his Mum, "Mum, you're scaring the shop people again." he said in favour of answering.

Suzanna looked around for the first time since hearing Mail's call, seeing everyone in the store staring at her in shock and fear.

She turned back to Mail and smirked, "People need a good scare every now and again" she said, "Now did you find our guitars?"

Mail nodded and pointed to a pair of guitars standing innocently against a wall, waiting to be remembered.

"Good, lets get out of here before we catch someone's stupidity."

Mail giggled and nodded, "Okay. Hey, will you teach me some Regina Spektor when we get home?" he looked up at his Mum with wide eyes as she set him back on his feet.

"Sure thing sweetie, now let grab those guitars and get out of here."

-End-

**A/N:**Okies so that was And So It Goes.

Wow, that was really random and choppy, I'm sorry if it confused anyone. I MAY write a multi chap about Mail and Suzanna once Chloroform is done to better explain it….

Sorry its so late Angel, but school is a bitch and mid-year exams are coming up *le sigh* ah well, at least I only have two of them this year. But it means that all my subjects are piling on tests and all the work is due in just a couple of weeks. And I also have a major Drama performance coming up so my life is full of Hurricane Katrina ness ness stuffs.

Oh, and for anyone who knows anything about cellos and the like, I wikied them and that's where I got my information. The reason Suzanna has a Stradivari and _Becker_ in particular is because it was a family heirloom that she inherited from her grandfather and the reason this is possible is because Wiki had no more information on her except for her name and the year she was crafted (1719 if any one's interested).

Oh, and if anyone is wondering why Matt and his mother are so musical, its because of my other DN fic, '_Chloroform and Happiness_' which is based at Wammy's and Matt is awesome at music although no one really finds that out til the recent chapters. ^^_

Okies, I think I've said all I need to, reviews = love and I love all of you for reading all of this so share the love?

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGEL!**


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